BABBIE

 
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BABBIE OMPLING-AKAYALUK

DIVERSITY CZARINA

BABBIE'S DIVERSE CREDENTIALS ARE SECOND TO NONE.

THREE-QUARTERS CANTONESE, HALF INUIT, A THIRD ZULU, A QUARTER FREEMASON, AN EIGHTH LATVIAN, AND A SIXTEENTH TAMIL; WITH A THIRD NIPPLE, MULTIPLE FAMILIAL LIPOMATOSIS, A HUNCHBACK, A GENETIC PREDISPOSITION TO INSANITY, AND A SEXUAL PREFERENCE FOR MID-CENTURY TOASTERS, BABBIE IS KEEN TO ENSURE SOMEONE WITHOUT A GODFATHER WHO WORKS IN TV GETS A JOB AS A RUNNER.